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You will see everyone around you is experiencing love, but what about you? Are you a person who wonders why don’t I fall in love? Is it a disorder or a normal thing? 

Why don't I fall in love?

The concept of being in a relationship gives a feeling of desirable and romantic. We dream of meeting the perfect partner and getting married to them. This seems really easy when we are younger and we wait for the right moment to feel for it. But as we become adults, it will seem actually hard to find one. But for some, the problem is not about finding people to love that they can connect with, but they will find it hard to feel in love in the first place and find that they are not able to love and have an intimate connection with someone. And this makes them wonder “Why don’t I fall in love?”. 

There are plenty of reasons that make it hard for you to feel in love with someone. In order to solve this problem, you need to identify it. If you really feel hard to love someone, then here are a few reasons why you don’t feel love. And what you can do about it? 

Are you really incapable of loving? 

You will feel lonely and convince yourself that love is not for you. But loneliness does not mean you are not capable of love, also having failed relationship also doesn’t mean so. 

Being single for a long time and not feeling in love has been different. It is much a deeper issue. Therefore do not let your failed relationships make you think that you are not right to love. 

Reasons on why don’t I fall in love?

Being ignored or rejected in early life

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Kids who have gone through rejections and being ignored by others, especially by their own family and friends will result in such issues. Other than that individuals who have been the target of abuse by one or more parents, children who have undergone domestic violence, do not feel a strong attachment that one should get at an age or being inspired by a parent who is involved in negative relationship habits will make it harder for them to accept love from even the most loving partners. 

These negative experiences make these people feel unwanted and as time goes on, they won’t have any feelings in love. Because of this reason, they will isolate themselves from the rest of the people. If you identify these traumas, you need to work through them and learn how to maintain a healthy relationship. Learn to accept affections from others without worrying about what would happen.

Low self-worth and self-esteem 

This is a common issue faced by many people, where they feel low self-worth, and find it undeserving to be loved. When you have this feeling during a relationship, you will continuously doubt the positive things your partner says about you. It will make it hard for you to believe that they are loving you for your positive things. When you start doubting so, it will make it hard for them to want to stay as you will also not accept the love and affection they are showing you.

On the other hand, people who have low self-worth will depend on their partners for happiness and makes sure of their worth by being attached to their partner when the relationship develops. This issue needs help and can be prevented to become a problem in the future. 

Fear of losing yourself

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Before entering into a relationship, we live our own life, deciding on what to do, when,  and how to do it.  But it might not be the same when we enter into a serious relationship as we are forming an identity with another person.  Therefore there will be less freedom and not everyone could be able to handle this. This is not a great issue for some,  but on the other hand, this will be a big problem for some.  This overwhelming fear will not allow that person to feel in love. 

The fear of not living your life according to your wish. The fear will make the person be at a distance from the partner and prevent from falling too deep.  If your partner gives you plenty of space,  you might worry about it, and this is your issue. But if your partner is controlling you too much,  you need to consider other ways to deal with this issue.

You don’t feel to be in long-term relationships

We have grown in a society that expects us to live our lives in a way.  Mostly it will expect us to meet someone, fall in love,  get married, and settle down. People who are not ready for a long-term relationship will feel guilty of doing something wrong to fall in love for a short time period.  In such time you will avoid love not because you wonder why don’t I fall in love? but instead, wonder, do I need to love at this time?

The expectations of society cannot be met every time by everyone and the truth is that you need to follow your own desires.  There is nothing wrong with wanting to be in a short-term relationship and this should be a need for both yourself and the person you are going to connect with. 

The feeling of being taken for granted

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In a relationship, it is trust that forms a foundation. There are people who are not able to trust that their partner will not hurt them or take them for advantage. It is true that trust is hard to earn and accept because you might have been in a major relationship in the past where are you have trust completely but in the end got broken. 

In order to prevent such problems, people will be away from love so that they will not be taken advantage of.  Maybe this is to protect you from getting hurt but you will lose the experience of the joys that you get from love and will miss the great relationships that wait for you. Therefore you need to overcome in order to lead a happy life. 

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