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You might have seen memes saying “a Talkative girl and a silent boy make the best pair”? So is it true? Do opposites attract?

do opposites attract

It is often said and believed by many people that opposites attract. But the thing is that is not much conversation that proves the statement and explains why or how. 

We have seen movies where a good girl gets attracted to a bad boy.  Sometimes you may have a friend who is an introvert being shy and gets attracted to an outgoing extrovert and friendly person. It seems to make sense that they make a good match.

Sometimes food,  style,  preferences,  and sometimes even astrological signs a considered to be opposite and attract each other. 

This article discusses do opposites attract, and why people who are different from one another find themselves attracted to each other.  Also, you will know the pros and cons of dating your opposite and what makes the relationship a success. 

Initially, why do we attract our opposite?

You think that when a person is the same as you,  life will seem to be boring. In the initial moments, opposites may attract because the other person seems new and exciting. 

Opposites are required to balance, so there are opposites on the Earth including day and night, sea and land,  and male and female.  From this perspective being attracted to the opposite is nature’s way of ensuring the survival of our species and becoming psychologically whole.

Science shows us that we are born to bond not with just anyone but with the reciprocal opposite.

After the initial moments, you will decide to date. The ways you are opposite enhances the appeal of you two as a couple.  In the beginning stages, the differences will seem to arouse one’s curiosity or interest. This is because differences have not yet proven to be an obstacle in relationships.

If you have noticed, your parents might seem completely different. Your mother would be short-tempered, dedicated to order, and used to remembering everything while your father would be a patient, unorganized person, and would forget things. 

They would be both deeply compassionate, united in political beliefs,  enjoy the outdoors, and prioritize family. So they are not being totally opposite but will have seemingly conflicting personalities. 

So you would be drawn to someone who seems to be different.

Reasons why the opposite attracts

You may wonder, do opposites attract. Some people totally believe that opposite attracts.  But the thing is since you are a child you will be with people with whom you’ll have similar likes and dislikes and would not be with people who are opposite to you. So how can it work in a relationship?

In some cases, people with opposite personality becomes closer soon and will be happier in their relationship.  There are many reasons, why opposites attract when sharing a partnership. 

Characteristics 

Each person has individual traits to make their personality unique. This difference is what makes that first conversation last for hours. Why would someone feel so happy to choose a particular way of life that is dissimilar from their own?  It could be to prove intimidating or a weakness that you are trying to improve.

For example, if you are an introvert who does not start any conversation and feels shy will want a person who is an extrovert and would be able to start any conversation.  So that you would be comfortable with them instead of being with another introvert who would not start a conversation. 

When you are with an opposite person, you’ll have more chances to explore things that are different.

Also, opposites that go together tend to complement each other and generally, in these types of relationships, a friendship develops with mutual respect and then becomes a relationship.

Complementary

If you both are good dancers there is less chance that you would get a good compliment from your partner who is also a good dancer.  But if your partner is a singer,  then they are high chance that you get compliments for your dance.  So in opposite attracts,  each person will complement the other.

There will be a pleasant and talkative personality with someone else who chooses to stay on the sidelines so that when one person lacks something, it will be provided by the other.  Instead of wondering do opposites attract you might see how the other’s gaps are filled by working cohesively together to enhance attributes. 

Individualism

exploring news things when opposite attracts

In relationships, it is better if personalities vary.  If you have a unique interest, it adds excitement to your life, where you can introduce each other to different activities the other might not have tried. 

For instance, if you are a person who used to go to football matches but your partner hasn’t experienced it would now will get a chance to go and see a match. 

Habits

When you are with similar characteristics as your partner you find shared habits to become common and you will be watching yourself act out the same old activities and day-to-day routines. 

But when you find an opposite person with unusual habits you will find it less frustrating to find him/her functioning their daily activities differently, creating an attraction and helping you to develop a sense of love for that person. 

Do opposites attract? 

First, it is important to break down what being attracted to our opposite really means.  When you consider about opposites attract, you might think that you have zero in common but in reality, you probably have more in common than you think.

So it is found that most people are not attracted to opposites even though it may seem that way. 

A study published in the journal psychological science analyzed the digital footprints on Facebook of people.  They found that most people interact with others who are pretty similar to them. Another study that surveyed the values, personality traits, and attitudes,  of couples and friends, found that these people had 86% similarity in all factors. 

So it is said that you and your partner can be super different when it comes to the kind of food you eat, the taste of music, the clothes you wear,  and the movies you watch. But in reality, despite all those opposite traits you are probably more alike than you realize. 

Difference between opposite needs and opposite wants

arguments when you be opposite

There are differences between common wants and common needs. When it comes to long-term relationships,  it is required to have common needs including religious beliefs, having kids, and wanting to travel.

If you are looking for a long-term partner,  it is crucial for your needs to be common. Having separate interests and wants is actually healthy in a relationship and it will help each other keep their individual sense of self.  For example, if your partner is not doing yoga and you are a person who will be so much involved. So in this case your partner can be the opposite but still can be successful as a couple because they just “wants”. 

But when you find your needs to be different it will not actually work between you. 

Pros and cons of opposites attract

Pros

Learning

There are chances to fall for someone who is your opposite, especially when you have so much to learn from each other. If you are similar in almost everything, exploring, and learning become minimal. But with opposite couples, this opportunity seems endless.

You can take your conversation for hours and cannot stop listening. You learn about dealing with people, handling stress, and enjoying hobbies. 

Passion learning

Do the opposite attracts in relationships even after the honeymoon phase? 

When you are opposites, you can easily make a way to bring the passion back. On the other hand, when you are similar, you will be tired of doing the same thing you like and want to try new things. 

You can effectively introduce exciting ways to stay intimate and be differently romantic. Also, you can venture into new hobbies, start learning new things that your partner loves and share the moment.

Sacrifice reveals love

When you have an opposite partner, sometimes you both sacrifice your interests for each other at some moments when you both would know how much love you have. 

It reveals and makes the bond stronger each day. 

Cons

Pressure

When you both become totally opposite, do you still think the Opposite attracts you? 

It is common to have an attraction toward a person who is the opposite. But once you pass a few stages in your life together,  you will face the real world.  It can cause pressure.  When you try to keep up with the opposite partner, it can also be tiring.

For example, if your partner is a party type and you are a person who wants to be at home, might feel pressure to attend this event even if you do not want.

Tired of trying

myth of opposite attracts

Do opposites attract?  Even if it is a yes, most of the time it can be a no.  Falling in love with someone is a risk because it takes years to know someone. Even if you’re trying to work things out, sometimes you may feel tired.

When two of you are trying to work out things and find ways how you can fix the difference, it would become too much and you will feel exhausted.

Lack of Interest

It would be great to know about differences at the beginning. But as time goes on, if your partner likes something, that you dislike, it could create disagreements

Frequent clashes

People with different values and beliefs could clash.  Your views and beliefs can create disagreements including how you divide your earnings, raising your children, discipline styles as parents,  and intimation with in-laws. 

This could be worse if you are not good at communication. 

Falling apart

You might be a person who wants to plan, save and be cautious about goals, but your partner might be a person who loves to take chances.  So being with someone who doesn’t understand your goals and a person who does not support you can be a real problem.

How can you make a relationship work with your opposite partner? 

There is nothing to worry about if you have an opposite partner and find things that do not work between you both. There are still a few things you can do to make your relationship successful. 

Communicate

Communication is the key to a relationship and lack of communication is the most damaging.

When you do not converse at the start of issues, it could possibly affect the other person’s life.  When you talk,  you can find out what your partner is expecting and you could also make your partner know about your expectations.

You can come to an agreement on how you can fix them. 

Appreciate your partner

Just start with appreciation.

appreciate things your partner do for you

Appreciate their efforts. For example, if you love to do shopping but your partner doesn’t, they will still try to adjust and come with you shopping.  So appreciate them and be thankful for that. The effort that your partner puts to explore your world is difficult so when you appreciate what they do for you, it would be worthwhile and your relationship will be smooth. 

Do things in a good way

Never challenge your partner to see who is better or right.

Instead,  know the topic so issues where you have different opinions like holidays, politics, movies, and the way you spend weekends. Instead of debating, encourage each other to come up with alternatives where you both can grow and enjoy.

You don’t have to agree on everything but you can acknowledge and state your views. So that you both will get into new ideas together

Respect and be Honest

appreciate things your partner do for you

Maintain your individuality by being open to others’ opinions. Both of you set boundaries and be able to respect each other.  Give them the space and try to disagree if they want to so that it will be a healthy relationship.

Be honest about your preferences and expectations from the beginning so that it will establish realistic expectations. Keep the other person the opportunity from the moment you need to decide if the things that make you unique or something they want to contend with.

Because sometimes your mate might not enjoy that you are a social butterfly who prefers nights out to stay. So it would be better if you could say it honestly to them and they will decide.  So that you can move on with life.

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